The Real McRib

McDonalds’ McRib and its cult-like following are back. It’s probably a blessing that the sandwich is only returning for a limited time, because if you knew about all the unpronounceable ingredients packed into the McRib, you might think twice about wolfing down the sauce-drenched “food.” Think you can stomach what’s inside? Read on and see.

At face value, the sandwich contains just pork, onions, and pickle slices slathered in barbecue sauce and laid out on a bun. But the truth is, there are roughly 70 ingredients. The bun alone contains 34. In addition to chemicals like ammonium sulfate and polysorbate 80, the most egregious may be azodicarbonamide — “a flour-bleaching agent most commonly used in the manufacturing of foamed plastics like gym mats the and the soles of shoes.” According to McDonald’s own ingredient list, the bun also includes calcium sulfate and ethoxylated mono- and diglycerides, among other chemicals.

So what’s in the meat? Pig innards and plenty of salt. Typically, “restructured meat product” includes pig bits like tripe, heart, and scalded stomach. These parts are cooked and blended with salt and water to extract salt-soluble proteins, which act as a “glue” that helps bind the reshaped meat together.

Is it really bad for you? Well, it’s certainly not good for you. Though “slightly trimmer than the Big Mac,” which contains 540 calories and 29 grams of fat, the McRib, first introduced in 1982, still packs in 500 calories and 26 grams of fat. And despite its name, one thing you won’t find inside a McRib is bones. The absence of any detectable “rib” is what gives the unnutritious mush its “quirky sense of humor,” according to Marta Fearon, McDonald’s U.S. marketing director.

Jesus and Moses

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, “Jesus is watching you.”

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze.

When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head, promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the light on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he grabbed the ipod docking station and speakers and put them in his bag her heard, clear as a bell he heard, “Jesus is watching you.”

Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.

“Did you just say that?” he hissed at the parrot.

“Yep,” the parrot confessed, then squawked, “I’m just trying to warn you.”

The burglar relaxed. “Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?”

“Moses,” replied the bird.

“Moses?” the burglar laughed. “What kind of people would name a bird Moses?”

“Pretty much the same kind of people who would name a rottweiler Jesus.”

Pineapple Easy Slicer

If you love fresh pineapple, (and who doesn’t), you may be interested in the Pineapple Easy Slicer. Peeling pineapple wasn’t this easy before this Stainless Steel Pineapple Easy Slicer. It allows you to Peel, core, and make slices of an entire pineapple in just a few seconds. It’s simple and durable, made of stainless steel. You can make equally sized slices or rings of whole pineapple with a few twists of the wrist. BUY it here:

Rick Perry: Drunk, Stoned, or Simply Stupid?

Rick Perry often comes off as a bumbling, pissed off version of George Bush in debates, but in this speech he seems to be speaking with the insight and wisdom gained only from being stoned, or perhaps, tipsy.

Mugging for the crowd, giggling like a schoolgirl, and occasionally lisping or yelling out at the audience, the speech was, if nothing else, entertaining. But possibly not for the reasons the campaign might have hoped that it would be entertaining. It reeks of someone under the influence of the effects of substance abuse.

Perry spokesperson Mark Miner said the Governor was filled with passion about the issues. I wonder if that “passion” came on the rocks, or from a few too many bong hits?

Stupid Questions:

~ If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
~ What do sheep count when they can’t sleep?
~ Why is it that bullets ricochet off of Superman’s chest, but he ducks when the gun is thrown at him?
~ Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, “I think I’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?”
~ If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
~ Why are they called “stands” when they’re made for sitting?
~ Do crabs think we walk sideways??
~ If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
~ Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
~ Why do they make scented toilet paper?
~ Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
~ If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
~ What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?
~ Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?
~ Why does Donald Duck wear a towel when he comes out of the shower, when he doesn’t usually wear any pants?
~ Are there any unguided missiles?
~ If there is an extra small and an extra large, why isn’t there an extra medium?
~ Why do feet smell and noses run?
~ Why is a professional who invests your money called a “broker”?
~ If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
~ Why do they call it quicksand when it sucks you down slowly?
~ Why is it called a “drive through” if you have to stop?
~ Why buy shampoo when real poo is still free?
~ If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?
~ When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?

Maybe This Explains a Lot

The real problem in American politics may be explained by this true example. See what you think.

In a Purdue University classroom, the students were discussing the qualifications to be President of the United States.

It was pretty simple. The candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age.

One girl in the class, however, immediately started in on how unfair the requirement of being a natural born citizen was.

In her opinion, this requirement could prevent many capable individuals from becoming president, and therefore shouldn’t be a valid requirement.

The class was taking it in and letting her rant, and sadly, not many jaws hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating: “What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?”

Yeah, these are the same 18 year olds who are now voting in our elections.

They breed and they walk among us.