My neighbor got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.
Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.
I saw a Mormon with only one wife.
The economy is so bad that the highest-paying job in town is jury duty.
The bank returns your check marked “Insufficient Funds,” and you call them to ask if they meant you or them.
Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.
My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it so the Church re-possessed her!
A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .
The economy is so bad, I saw the CEO of Wal-Mart shopping at Wal-Mart.
When Bill and Hillary travel together they now share a room.
McDonald’s is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .
A picture is now only worth 200 words.
The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.
Times are so tough that I can’t even afford to pay attention.
The economy is so bad, I went to my bank the other day and the teller handed me a note saying, “This is a robbery!”
Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.
Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!