You Know You’re Getting Old When…

It takes two tries to get up from the couch.

When your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio.

You confuse having a clear conscience with a bad memory.

When happy hour is a nap.

The iron in your blood turns to lead in your pants.

When all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age.

You no longer consider staying under the speed limit a challenge.

When you step off a curb and look down one more time to make sure the street is still there.

Your idea of weight lifting is standing up.

It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.

Your memory is shorter and your complaining lasts longer.

Your house catches fire and the first thing you grab is your Metamucil.

You sit in a rocking chair and can’t get it going.

Dialing long distance wears you out.

The pharmacist has become your new best friend.

Your knees buckle but your belt won’t.

Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

It takes twice as long – to look half as good.

You get two invitations to go out on the same night and you pick the one that gets you home the earliest.

Everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt – doesn’t work.

You look for your glasses for half an hour and they were on your head the whole time.

You give up all your bad habits and still don’t feel good.

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the guys with the Live Doppler radar.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

You have more patience, but it is actually that you just don’t care anymore.

You finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart.

You have too much room in the house and not enough room in the medicine cabinet.

A fortune teller offers to read your face.

After painting the town red, you have to take a long rest before applying a second coat.

14 Million Seniors Already Benefitting From Obamacare

According to the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services, over 14 million seniors have now personally benefited from Obamacare provisions.

Medicare reports that 14.3 million seniors in America have already received important preventive benefits under President Obama’s health care law. In the first few months of 2012, seniors were able to take advantage of a number of preventative health services, including an annual checkup, without paying any deductibles or co-pays. “Thanks to the health care law, millions of Americans are getting cancer screenings, mammograms, and other preventive services for free,” said acting CMS Administrator Marilyn Tavenner. “These preventive services are helping people in Medicare stay healthy and lower their health care costs.”

Staying healthy and lowering costs.

Sounds like the stuff of socialism.

Of course the real threat to the Republican party is that Americans may decide they like a little socialism with their morning coffee.


As I grow older it seems as though I wax rhapsodic more often about the virtues of age and look more longingly into the past. This may be understood when one realizes the fact that the past is that which we have survived, and so presents nothing to fear. The present and future, on the other hand, are unpredictable, other than the eventual outcome which awaits us all. But tomorrow doesn’t frighten me, because I’ve lived yesterday and have survived, and I am excited about today and its possibilities. What’s pitiful about looking too much at the past is that by the time you have enough memories to be worth recalling, you’re too old to remember them, so maybe the past isn’t the place to be looking as we grow older.

We each think that we are unique to the world in which we live, and that our particular lives are also unique. In reality, life is just two or three human stories, endlessly repeating themselves as though they have never happened before. Oh, there are slight rewrites presented to each of us, but the overarching totality of our lives is indeed but an echo of those who have gone before us. Ultimately we each have a small role in this tragi-comedy we call life, but eventually all the characters die and are replaced by others who likewise die, ad infinitum.

This whole thing called life doesn’t seem so special when we view it with this sort of honest pragmatism. Not to say that it isn’t worth it, for it certainly is. Just that no matter who we are, what we do, what we possess, who we know, or anything else that we feel makes us different from those around us, we all are only here a little while and then gone. Some of us touch the future with more impact than others, but we all await the same fate while we go about our lives.

We should expect nothing more nor less for it is a chaotic universe into which we are born and in which we live. A universe that operates something like a ping pong match between Forrest Gump and Stevie Wonder, alternating between simplistic perfection and blind chaos and back again.

As we live we should each pick a flower of knowledge from time to time from among the many varieties that present themselves. Each flower we pick adds to a growing bouquet, and that bouquet ultimately becomes what we call wisdom, for wisdom is but the accumulation of the knowledge that we hold onto and put to a greater use.

I really didn’t know where this would go when I started writing it, and am not sure where it has arrived by the end. It’s probably proof that I shouldn’t try to write without a clear cut purpose, and moreso that I have indeed aged beyond the realm of coherency. What I have written here is stark proof that my comments about knowledge and wisdom are not universally applied, for I have proven that there are indeed exceptions to this bon mot.

Take these rambling thoughts for what they’re worth. On second thought, take them in spite of their worth, with my humblest apologies.