Monthly Archives: March 2010

A short pictorial about Teabonics

The Teabaggers have, through their penchant for misspelling words on the signs at their rallies, as well as grammatical and factual errors, spawned a new linguistic subcategory which is being called “teabonics.” Much like the earlier identified linguistic subset of ebonics, this new phenomena is causing quite a stir among the more traditional students of linguistics. Do we turn the keys to proper grammar, spelling, and word usage over to those who are usurping its correctness in their pursuit of some ill-defined, unfocused, political agenda, or do we keep all the applicable rules in place, guarded by those with maybe a little more intellect, and certainly a lot more clarity of purpose? I’m voting for the traditional values of language, grammar, spelling, etc., as well as the traditional values of forward looking political solutions, such as helping our fellow human being along the way to building a better, more progressive society.

Here then are some of the best examples of teabonics, as photographed at various teabagger rallies.

I assume he means “dissent”, but maybe he really does mean it as it reads. It could work.

I’m not sure if this is racially or religiously incendiary, but it sure is bigoted.

Not bad. This ‘bagger misspelled three words on a placard containing eight words, and one of them was simply the letter “A”, which is ungrammatical, and should have actually been “an”. What’s the percentage of misspelled words here? Don’t ask this guy, because I doubt his math is any better than his spelling.

Well, I guess “feedom”, which I might assume is a form of the word “fee”, wouldn’t normally be free, since a fee denotes a payment of some sort. Then again, if that’s what this guy means, what is his point? I guess maybe he might have meant “freedom” isn’t free, but since he can’t spell, how can we ever know exactly what he meant?

Predictions That Missed The Mark

In 1894, the president of the Royal Society, William Thomson, Lord Kelvin, predicted that radio had no future. The first radio factory was opened five years later. Today, there are more than one billion radio sets in the world, tuned to more than 33 000 radio stations around the world.

In the 6th century BC Greek mathematician Pythagoras said that earth is round – but few agreed with him. Greek astronomer Aristarchos said in the 3rd century BC that earth revolves around the sun – but the idea was not accepted. In the 2nd century BC Greek astronomer Erastosthenes accurately measured the distance around the earth at about 40,000 km (24,860 miles) – but nobody believed him. In the 2nd century AD Greek astronomer Ptolemy stated that earth was the centre of the universe – most people believed him for the next 1,400 years.

In the early 20th century a world market for only 4 million automobiles was predicted because “the world would run out of chauffeurs.” Shortly after the end of World War II (1945), the whole of Volkswagen, factory and patents, was offered free to Henry Ford II. He dismissed the Volkswagen Beetle as a bad design. Today, more than 70 million motorcars are produced every year. The Beetle became one of the best-selling vehicles of all time.

The telephone was not widely appreciated for the first 15 years because people did not see a use for it. In fact, in the British parliament it was mentioned there was no need for telephones because “we have enough messengers here.” Western Union believed that it could never replace the telegraph. In 1876, an internal memo read: “This telephone has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as a means of communication.” Even Mark Twain, upon being invited by Alexander Graham Bell to invest $5 000 in the new invention, could not see a future in the telephone.

In 1943, Thomas Watson, the chairman of IBM forecast a world market for “maybe only five computers.” Years before IBM launched the personal computer in 1981, Xerox had already successfully designed and used PCs internally… but decided to concentrate on the production of photocopiers. Even Ken Olson, founder of Digital Equipment Corporation, said in 1977, “There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.”

After the invention of the transistor in 1947, several US electronics companies rejected the idea of a portable radio. Apparently it was thought nobody would want to carry a radio around. When Bell put the transistor on the market in 1952 they had few takers apart from a small Japanese start-up called Sony. They introduced the transistor radio in 1954.

In 1954, a concert manager fired Elvis Presley, saying, “You ought to go back to driving a truck.” In 1962, Decca Records rejected the Beatles, “We don’t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.”

In 1966, Time Magazine predicted, “By 2000, the machines will be producing so much that everyone in the U.S. will, in effect, be independently wealthy.”

Perhaps the guy who got it wrong most was the commissioner of the US Office of Patents: in 1899, Charles H. Duell, assured President McKinley that “everything that can be invented has been invented.”

To prophesy is extremely difficult – especially with regard to the future – Chinese proverb

Quotes on Marriage

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t, they’d be married too.
– H. L. Mencken

Don’t marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.
Scottish Proverb

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards.
Benjamin Franklin

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates

If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.
Johnny Carson

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
– Rita Rudner

My husband and I didn’t sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
– Roseanne Barr

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.
– Helen Rowland

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?
Carrie Snow

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted a whole day.
– Mickey Rooney

Inertia accounts for two-thirds of marriages. But love accounts for the other third.
– Woody Allen

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Rodney Dangerfield

With my wife I don’t get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to ‘the best woman a man ever had.’ The waiter joined me.
– Rodney Dangerfield

Why can’t women tell jokes? Because we marry them!
– Kathy Lette

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house.
George Burns

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
– Henny Youngman

I’ve been in love with the same woman for 49 years. If my wife every finds out, she’ll kill me!
Henny Youngman

In life, it’s not who you know that’s important, it’s how your wife found out.
– Joey Adams

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
– Joey Adams

When my husband comes home, if the kids are still alive, I figure I’ve done my job.
– Roseanne Barr

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
Roseanne Barr

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
– George Burns

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night.
– Marie Corelli

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage.
– William Shakespeare

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers.
– Alan King

The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing—and then marry him.
Cher

George Carlin on Aging

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. ‘How old are you?’ ‘ I’m four and a half!’ You’re never thirty-six and a half…. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.

You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few
ahead… ‘How old are you?’ ‘I’m gonna be 16!’ You could be 13, but hey, you’re gonna be 16!

And then the greatest day of your life! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There’s no fun now, you’re Just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.

Before y ou know it, youREACH 50, and your dreams are gone…

But! wait!! ! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50, and make it to 60.

You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that, it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80’s, and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; ‘I Was JUST 92.’

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. ‘I’m 100 and a half!’

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about
them. That is why you pay them..

2.Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3.Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. ‘An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.’ And the devil’s family name is Alzheimer’s.

4.Enjoy the simple things.

5.Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8.Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help..

9.Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10..Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND, ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
We all need to live life to its fullest each day!!

Life’s journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally used up and worn out, shouting ‘….man, what a ride!’